To Whom It May Concern:

Please accept my donation of 31 Snowmen figurines. I’m sure someone somewhere can find them useful. I was not expecting these to come to my door and the growing Army of Snowmen is making my dogs uneasy, not to mention making my life a fucking hellscape.

They do seem to be reproducing, but I have not yet googled “The Sex Lives of Snowmen” for, well, obvious reasons. But it would definitely appear they are not all “Men” so to speak. The reproduction time for The Snow People appears to be quite rapid.

When they come to life at night and tell Alexa to play “Frosty the Snowman” on repeat, it is quite a disruption. They also seem to have a penchant for wine, and they keep asking me where the pot is stored. While I don’t have anything against marijuana users, I am not one myself and do not have the budget for enough pot for 31 People of Snow. Inflation is high, and gas prices alone have stopped me from driving to the dispensary.

I know, I know, weed might chill them out and they might stop trying to ride my pugs while drunk, breaking things and shouting “Suck on THIS, ELF ON THE SHELF” but honestly, that experiment is not one I’m willing to attempt. What if one of them gets paranoid? The last thing I need is a paranoid Frosty shrieking about the government giving him signals in this “old felt hat they found”

They are louder than you would picture Snow People to be, so please be aware and use noise cancelling headphones accordingly. Trust me, a good set plus a shit ton of Melatonin will be the only way you will survive being the proud owner of these.

It is true they are quite calm during the day. You may want to store them in a box until Christmas, but they will claw their way out at night, (which is honestly impressive considering their lack of hands), so a steel safe might be best.

This is great gift for the proverbial “night owl” or anyone who goes clubbing often. The Snow People fucking LOVE the clubs. I learned this the hard way.

On the plus side, they require no batteries, and no feeding, although they CAN drink, as far as I can tell. I’ve also seen no urine, vomit, or shit come out of them so what they do with that wine is a medical mystery one of you can pursue!  Think of the Nobel!

Please keep in mind sunshine does not appear to be a deterrent in any way. Oh, and they like knives. Also learned this the hard way.

Enjoy them! And if you caught me camera dropping this box off, No You Didn’t

On Being Chronically Ill During a Pandemic

Ooohh you SCARED? Of a little virus that can't even SEE?
Well then, YOU should stay home and let the rest of us normal people live our lives

Ok for how long

For as long as it takes

This is a hard thing you are asking - can you please stay home too. Ending this pandemic is in everybody's best interests

No I am normal and staying home is WAY too hard for me. Mental health is a thing.

So you want increased access to mental health care? 

No. I want to go back to what I like and pretend that fixes mental health in this country

Are you willing to do anything

No. As I said, I am normal. You are not. You have to make sacrifices. I do not. HOW ARE YOU NOT USED TO THAT YET?

Will you wear a mask

That is going too far. Once you give the government the power to tell you to wear a mask you basically live under communism. I am pro freedom. 

Will you stop gathering

No. Did you forget I was pro freedom. And it is not my fault I love my family more than you love yours

My "freedom" ends if I die as a result of your actions

Your life is your problem and not my responsibility. Take some responsibility. Your life is in your hands not mine. Have you heard of hydroxycholoroquine

Young healthy people are dying too

No they aren't. They probably had something wrong with them but didn't know it

So do you have something wrong but don't know it

No. I would know. 

Ok but - hospitals are full. Chronically ill people rely on having working hospitals  - we tend to use them more often.  You can do something about that by not gathering

Hospitals are always full during flu season. This is the flu and the numbers you are seeing are lies made up to scare you. 300k people die from the flu all the time.

Pretty sure they don't

You are being lied to

So you are not willing to do anything

No I am

Really? What?

I will bring you cookies and tell you we miss you and hope that someday you can join the world again

Can they be from Trader Joe's?

Sure. Anything for you

Thanks

Things I Know

THINGS I KNOW

1. Sometimes you get sick and you don't get better.

2. People that have always gotten better after getting sick do not fully understand this.

3. We live in a world where you have to depend on other people. You have to trust that the people that make your medicine, and your supplies, can get them to you. You have to trust that people around you will help if you have an emergency. You have to trust that machine you are attached to will work. Which means, You are absolutely, 100 percent incapable of "standing on your own 2 feet" all the time. This....sucks.

And it means....

This is crap. Ignore it.

If you’re reading this, you’re wasting your Tim

4. Your choices aren't everything. This is hard to accept. Your choices are important as hell. They are. Make them carefully and use them wisely. But sometimes other people's choices are important too and they affect your life greatly. Sometimes life just happens. Take responsibility, yes, but learn to accept what you can and cannot take responsibility for.


5. In an apocalypse, I used to think I'd be OK with dying first. Turns out, not so much. I would like as many people to survive as possible.

Hopefully not yet

6. You are not invincible. It will bother you when people act like they are invincible. You want them to lose their sense of invincibility, and yet you don't, because wouldn't it be nice to feel that?

7. Sickness doesn't care who you are. It is not vindictive, nor can it be coaxed into being forgiving. It just....IS. And it doesn't care if you're broke, if you're wealthy,  if you have to be somewhere, or if you are tired of dealing with it. Because it's not your pet. It's disease.


There are many many things I do not know. There are many many things I thought I knew that I no longer believe. It's part of being human. I will learn things, I will forget things, I will change my mind about things. We all will. But I will fight against some things. I will stand up when I have to.

Because there are some things that just always will be true, no matter what other people say or do. There are some things you cannot set aside with "agree to disagree".

 Spin some things however you want, but at the end of the day, it means "Saint Diego"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AIwaSD9Sco

(Bill Gates isn't trying to poison you and essential oils don't cure diabetes)

Ramblings

When I was 30, I had 3 medical things happen all at once:

I had minor surgery on my thyroid to remove a cyst. I had Lasik surgery on my eyes, and I broke my right wrist.

(In fact, I often wonder if those 3 events all in the span of a few months is what triggered the beginning of the autoimmune attack - I was diagnosed 3 years later. But I will never know for sure.)

Of those 3 things, the breaking of the wrist was, BY FAR, the worst. It was incredibly painful for weeks, and I had a cast on my dominant arm. I had a 2-year-old at the time, and changing diapers was beyond me. How do you hold a squirming kid and change a poopy with one hand? I couldn't blow my hair dry. I couldn't get dressed easily. But you know what I really couldn't do?

I couldn't WASH MY HANDS.

Not being able to get my cast wet made hand washing this weird exercise in "what is the sound of one hand clapping" type nonsense. I longed for the day when I could indulge in the luxury of having 2 hands go under running warm water, the soap bubbling up nicely, the rubbing of both hands together. I would seriously fantasize about it. (but not in a gross way, come on people)

And then, of course, eventually that day came when I could wash my hands again. It was GLORIOUS.

It's been over a decade, and I still sigh with gratitude when I can put both hands underwater and really wash them both. It's still a luxury. And as you can imagine, I've been washing my hands a lot lately.

When this is over, I wonder what will be a luxury that wasn't before.

Will it always bring a spark of joy to go into a restaurant? To wait in a line and not wonder about the health of the person next to you? To watch a movie in an actual theater? Maybe every time I get my hair cut I will be astonished at the wonder of it all. Who am I kidding, I already do that. Hair people are magicians.

And the quarantine is getting to people. As expected, the backlash is beginning. "This is government overreach" "This is overhyped" "We can't believe the reports" "20k people would have died anyway" "They're lying about the numbers" "Hospitals are empty - I see the parking lots"

These are all completely normal responses to a completely abnormal situation. I just hope it doesn't lead to people breaking quarantine before they should because I don't want to read them tweeting about the death of their loved ones. Seriously my Twitter has way too many people mourning and it is HARD.

I don't really have a point here I guess.

Except that I really love washing my hands.

BCG in the Time of Covid

*Obligatory - wow I haven't posted in a while etc etc*

So as you all know, I am in the BCG Trial run by Dr. Denise Faustman to see if the vaccine can help Type 1 Diabetes. The trial is currently in Phase 2. I cannot publicly discuss my results or lack thereof, so don't ask. Thanks.

I had my first shot in March 2016.

In March 2020, I was to head back for my last shot. (I think it's my last? Hard to keep track at this point) I was supposed to have a follow up at the end of April.

But, as you ALSO all know, we're in the middle of an effing pandemic and traveling around the country right now is not advised. I am HUGE proponent of STAY HOME and I've been yelling at people to do so on a regular basis and I think I've annoyed everybody with it but that's OK. I mean, hopefully it's OK. No way to know, really.

I canceled my March visit. The lab understood. They are remaining open, as they are "essential" and told me they would change my April follow up to be a shot visit instead of just a blood draw. Seriously these people are great to work with.

I haven't canceled that yet, but it is very very likely that I will. I don't see this wrapping up in a few weeks.

The lab is willing to work with me to reschedule and I likely won't be dropped from the study, so that is all good.

The BCG vaccine is hitting the news, though, with possible evidence that it can offer some protection against the dreaded Covid-19

New York Times

Science Mag

As with most things concerning the Covid, everything is new and up in the air, but if this can help protect health care workers, and others that are high risk, and me, that would be amazing.

So I would like to get the shot, but I would also like to not travel on 2 airplanes, take public transportation, spend the night in a motel, go to the lab, and then repeat the process to get home.

I have a mask, and lots of soap, but still, I need transporter technology, even though my brother is convinced that it is murder. He feels strongly about Star Trek tech. (or he used to, he may not have opinions anymore, it's not something we discuss often)

Right now I'm leaning HEAVILY towards canceling/postponing. Like, 98 percent.

If I could get an antibody test that would show if I've had it, I would feel a lot better about traveling. I'm working on it, but those odds of that happening are low, if nothing changes. But, if nothing else, things are changing rapidly right now, so who knows.

And is it possible I've had it? It is. I coughed and coughed for 2+ weeks after getting home from Disney World, but I never really had a high fever (I got to 99) or muscle aches, or fatigue. Just a cough. I mean, the cough sucked, it was gnarly, but I have a pulse ox, I was never in danger, and honestly I consulted nobody about it because I would be told to just isolate at home and come in if it got worse, which I was already doing. And tests are few and far between.

Anyway, that's all. If BCG could protect against Covid-19, that would be amazing. Then you could all get shots with me, and we could compare arms. Wouldn't that be fun?

New Diet Coke Flavors - a Review

Ok, I know this blog is supposed to be all about diabetes. But show me a Type 1 who isn't addicted in some form to their favorite Diet Soda Of Choice, and I'll show you a liar. *

I myself prefer Diet Dr. Pepper above Diet Coke. But I will take a nice cold DC any day of the week, and if you say "Is Diet Pepsi OK?" you will get a "No, please bring me some water." Which always makes the server die a little, because, you know, tips.**

So...Diet Coke has 4 new flavors. Ginger Lime, Zesty Blood Orange, Feisty Cherry and Twisted Mango.  To be fair, my store did not have the Mango one. So I will not include that in my review. I got 2 cans of each, one for me and one for my husband, who drinks more Diet Coke than I do. His opinions are included.

First up:

Ginger Lime

Expectation: I love lime in my DC. I love ginger. I will love this.

Reality: I cannot taste the lime - like at all. There is a stronger ginger flavor, and while I do love me some ginger, it tastes a bit like someone just added ginger ale to your Diet Coke. So actually, this would be great for sick days, when you need some ginger ale to settle your stomach, and diet ginger ale can be hard to find sometimes. But oh, how it tastes so good when you are throwing up or nauseated. (Don't forget to check for ketones in that situation, folks!) But this? Really really needs more lime. Pass.

Husband: I have a theory that ginger and lime are ALREADY in the flavor of DC. They had the correct balance, and here they just screwed it up. Do I have to finish this can?

Second in line:

Zesty Blood Orange

Expectation: I was looking forward to this one since I do like an orange slice in my DC. If you want to watch your server do a double take, ask for DC with orange instead of lemon or lime. (My brother in law taught me that)

Reality:  This does NOT taste like DC with an orange slice in it. This tastes like someone went to the fountain drink dispenser at your favorite restaurant and mixed the Diet Coke and the Fanta orange.  If you like Fanta orange, or you like the taste of mixed flavors that your 10 year old makes himself at the cool soda machine, you will like this drink. Again, I will pass.

Husband: Can I just drink regular Diet Coke? This is bad.

Third up:

Feisty Cherry

Expectation: I generally hate cherry sodas, so I don't see why this would be any better. I expect to hate it.

Reality: Yep. Blech. Bad.

Husband: Tastes like someone mixed Diet Coke with grape soda. Worst of the bunch.  The "feistiness" is terrible.


I am less excited to try the Mango one now. I will still try it, you know, in the interests of science, and my friend who tried them today says she'd drink it again, so maybe it's the best one of the bunch.  I kept googling to find out when these were going to hit my area, and no dates were ever given, but I did read that these were invented to appeal to La Croix drinkers.

So I bought some La Croix to try, and well, these are not going to appeal to La Croix drinkers. La Croix drinkers are the same people who order club soda and lime on airplanes. La Croix has very little flavor, but isn't bad once you add some sweetener. I myself added Truvia, feel free to dump the real sugar in, should your pancreas oblige.

I don't know WHY the good people at Diet Coke didn't call me to test their flavors. Or anyone in the Type 1 community, really. I make much better drinks at home, just with Torani syrups. Squeeze a lime, add some coconut syrup - yum. Splash of vanilla - divine. Or again, just squeeze a little bit of an orange into it. Delicious.

Am I giving up Diet Coke?  Not even a little bit. Am I going to buy these again?  Not even once.

The new can is cool, though.



*They're like people who say they aren't Journey fans. Liars, all of them. I grudgingly admit there might be a few out there, but Type 1's do take their diet soda seriously.

**Water is better for you. I know this. But it is not that tasty.

Fun Facts, Gifs, and Collections

So..I've been dealing with Medtronic lately.

Yeah.

Fun fact #1: Medtronic gives a $500 credit if you send back your old pump within 60 days (90 days? 30 days? Some vague amount of days). It's a sneaky way of making sure you only have their equipment to deal with.


Fun fact #2: I did not send back my old pump. In fact, after a month of wearing the brick that is 670g, I put my Tandem T:slim back on. I couldn't do the Medtronic anymore. Too big. Too bulky. Too clicky.

Me every time I had to click another damn button.

Fun Fact #3: They charged my credit card $523 for my sensors, and as it turned out, it was covered by my insurance, and so I should have been charged bupkiss. (Does anyone say bupkiss anymore?) So - I owe them $500, they owe me $523.  I emailed my rep about this, and got crickets.

What most money conversations look like

Fun Fact #4: They started calling me to collect that $500. I would pick up the phone, and then get put on hold, and that just didn't fly with me. Well today they finally picked up after they called me (seriously, like, what?) and what followed was probably the greatest conversation I've ever had with a medical device company.

"Is this Heidi?"

Yes it is.

"Ok, let me pull up your account, oh it looks like....did you ever send back your old pump?"

No I did not.

"Oh, well that's what this is - you need to send that back honey, and that's why this went into billing."

"Yeah, I'm not going to do that. I am wearing it. I like it better.

(This blew her ever loving mind.)

Fun Fact #5 :I wish I were Anna Kendrick

"Wait, what? You like the old pump BETTER?"

Yes.

"Well, then what are you going to DO? This is considered a bill then. Do you want to set up a payment plan for this?"

No, I'm not paying it. You guys owe me money for the last shipment you sent out. If you refund me the $523, I'll pay the $500.

(In my head, I answered the 'what are you going to DO' question with "Sell the whole system on ebay" but I did not say that). (Nor will I do that.)

(Frantic typing)

"Are you talking about the shipment sent on 12/29?"

Yep, that's the one.

"We haven't received your insurance payment yet, you need to look again, and at where it says 'patient responsibility.' What does it say in that line? Does it say $523?"

It says $0.

"ohh.....When did you get that letter explaining that bill?"

It's online. I don't get letters - processed 1/4.

"Oh, well then yeah, you should be refunded then..once we get that insurance payment, we can process your payment and apply it to this pump. Let me see if you're on auto-ship, (no way in hell I'm on auto-ship) looks like you're not. Ok, that should do it."

Thank you.

So KUDOS to them for being able to apply the payment for one order to the bill for another order. So many companies would have to do the dance of refunding, then billing again, different systems, yada yada yada.  But ANTI-KUDOS to them for calling and putting me on hold, also for overcharging me by $523 in the first place, especially since I was quoted $300/something.

 Also, for all the clicking. You cannot turn off the clicking. And the stupid double A battery. And the stupid software that only works with IE.

But it was fun, just to be able to tell her 'Nope, not paying it.' "yep, you owe me money' "nope, not sending it back'.  There was no emotion attached, just me being in charge of the whole collections call.

Also, as to when I'm going to actually pull out the stuff they sent me and go into Auto Mode?  I have no answer to that question. Maybe never. Maybe tomorrow. I thought I'd give it the old college try, just like I did with Manual Mode, see what I think, but now I'm thinking, nope.

I would have to go to training with the trainer I dislike, (I answered her text about when I'm coming in with a solid "I'll let you know") and then deal with Medtronic for the rest of my life....ughhhh. The thought fills me with ANTI-JOY. Otherwise known as IRRATIONAL ANXIETY.

For now, I'm back on the old pump. Until it decides to die. And then??? Truthfully, I'll probably do whatever I can to stay with Tandem. Which will probably cost me money. Which is a bummer. And I might switch because of it, but not today.

NOT TODAY.