To Whom It May Concern:

Please accept my donation of 31 Snowmen figurines. I’m sure someone somewhere can find them useful. I was not expecting these to come to my door and the growing Army of Snowmen is making my dogs uneasy, not to mention making my life a fucking hellscape.

They do seem to be reproducing, but I have not yet googled “The Sex Lives of Snowmen” for, well, obvious reasons. But it would definitely appear they are not all “Men” so to speak. The reproduction time for The Snow People appears to be quite rapid.

When they come to life at night and tell Alexa to play “Frosty the Snowman” on repeat, it is quite a disruption. They also seem to have a penchant for wine, and they keep asking me where the pot is stored. While I don’t have anything against marijuana users, I am not one myself and do not have the budget for enough pot for 31 People of Snow. Inflation is high, and gas prices alone have stopped me from driving to the dispensary.

I know, I know, weed might chill them out and they might stop trying to ride my pugs while drunk, breaking things and shouting “Suck on THIS, ELF ON THE SHELF” but honestly, that experiment is not one I’m willing to attempt. What if one of them gets paranoid? The last thing I need is a paranoid Frosty shrieking about the government giving him signals in this “old felt hat they found”

They are louder than you would picture Snow People to be, so please be aware and use noise cancelling headphones accordingly. Trust me, a good set plus a shit ton of Melatonin will be the only way you will survive being the proud owner of these.

It is true they are quite calm during the day. You may want to store them in a box until Christmas, but they will claw their way out at night, (which is honestly impressive considering their lack of hands), so a steel safe might be best.

This is great gift for the proverbial “night owl” or anyone who goes clubbing often. The Snow People fucking LOVE the clubs. I learned this the hard way.

On the plus side, they require no batteries, and no feeding, although they CAN drink, as far as I can tell. I’ve also seen no urine, vomit, or shit come out of them so what they do with that wine is a medical mystery one of you can pursue!  Think of the Nobel!

Please keep in mind sunshine does not appear to be a deterrent in any way. Oh, and they like knives. Also learned this the hard way.

Enjoy them! And if you caught me camera dropping this box off, No You Didn’t

On Being Chronically Ill During a Pandemic

Ooohh you SCARED? Of a little virus that can't even SEE?
Well then, YOU should stay home and let the rest of us normal people live our lives

Ok for how long

For as long as it takes

This is a hard thing you are asking - can you please stay home too. Ending this pandemic is in everybody's best interests

No I am normal and staying home is WAY too hard for me. Mental health is a thing.

So you want increased access to mental health care? 

No. I want to go back to what I like and pretend that fixes mental health in this country

Are you willing to do anything

No. As I said, I am normal. You are not. You have to make sacrifices. I do not. HOW ARE YOU NOT USED TO THAT YET?

Will you wear a mask

That is going too far. Once you give the government the power to tell you to wear a mask you basically live under communism. I am pro freedom. 

Will you stop gathering

No. Did you forget I was pro freedom. And it is not my fault I love my family more than you love yours

My "freedom" ends if I die as a result of your actions

Your life is your problem and not my responsibility. Take some responsibility. Your life is in your hands not mine. Have you heard of hydroxycholoroquine

Young healthy people are dying too

No they aren't. They probably had something wrong with them but didn't know it

So do you have something wrong but don't know it

No. I would know. 

Ok but - hospitals are full. Chronically ill people rely on having working hospitals  - we tend to use them more often.  You can do something about that by not gathering

Hospitals are always full during flu season. This is the flu and the numbers you are seeing are lies made up to scare you. 300k people die from the flu all the time.

Pretty sure they don't

You are being lied to

So you are not willing to do anything

No I am

Really? What?

I will bring you cookies and tell you we miss you and hope that someday you can join the world again

Can they be from Trader Joe's?

Sure. Anything for you

Thanks

Things I Know

THINGS I KNOW

1. Sometimes you get sick and you don't get better.

2. People that have always gotten better after getting sick do not fully understand this.

3. We live in a world where you have to depend on other people. You have to trust that the people that make your medicine, and your supplies, can get them to you. You have to trust that people around you will help if you have an emergency. You have to trust that machine you are attached to will work. Which means, You are absolutely, 100 percent incapable of "standing on your own 2 feet" all the time. This....sucks.

And it means....

This is crap. Ignore it.

If you’re reading this, you’re wasting your Tim

4. Your choices aren't everything. This is hard to accept. Your choices are important as hell. They are. Make them carefully and use them wisely. But sometimes other people's choices are important too and they affect your life greatly. Sometimes life just happens. Take responsibility, yes, but learn to accept what you can and cannot take responsibility for.


5. In an apocalypse, I used to think I'd be OK with dying first. Turns out, not so much. I would like as many people to survive as possible.

Hopefully not yet

6. You are not invincible. It will bother you when people act like they are invincible. You want them to lose their sense of invincibility, and yet you don't, because wouldn't it be nice to feel that?

7. Sickness doesn't care who you are. It is not vindictive, nor can it be coaxed into being forgiving. It just....IS. And it doesn't care if you're broke, if you're wealthy,  if you have to be somewhere, or if you are tired of dealing with it. Because it's not your pet. It's disease.


There are many many things I do not know. There are many many things I thought I knew that I no longer believe. It's part of being human. I will learn things, I will forget things, I will change my mind about things. We all will. But I will fight against some things. I will stand up when I have to.

Because there are some things that just always will be true, no matter what other people say or do. There are some things you cannot set aside with "agree to disagree".

 Spin some things however you want, but at the end of the day, it means "Saint Diego"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AIwaSD9Sco

(Bill Gates isn't trying to poison you and essential oils don't cure diabetes)

Ramblings

When I was 30, I had 3 medical things happen all at once:

I had minor surgery on my thyroid to remove a cyst. I had Lasik surgery on my eyes, and I broke my right wrist.

(In fact, I often wonder if those 3 events all in the span of a few months is what triggered the beginning of the autoimmune attack - I was diagnosed 3 years later. But I will never know for sure.)

Of those 3 things, the breaking of the wrist was, BY FAR, the worst. It was incredibly painful for weeks, and I had a cast on my dominant arm. I had a 2-year-old at the time, and changing diapers was beyond me. How do you hold a squirming kid and change a poopy with one hand? I couldn't blow my hair dry. I couldn't get dressed easily. But you know what I really couldn't do?

I couldn't WASH MY HANDS.

Not being able to get my cast wet made hand washing this weird exercise in "what is the sound of one hand clapping" type nonsense. I longed for the day when I could indulge in the luxury of having 2 hands go under running warm water, the soap bubbling up nicely, the rubbing of both hands together. I would seriously fantasize about it. (but not in a gross way, come on people)

And then, of course, eventually that day came when I could wash my hands again. It was GLORIOUS.

It's been over a decade, and I still sigh with gratitude when I can put both hands underwater and really wash them both. It's still a luxury. And as you can imagine, I've been washing my hands a lot lately.

When this is over, I wonder what will be a luxury that wasn't before.

Will it always bring a spark of joy to go into a restaurant? To wait in a line and not wonder about the health of the person next to you? To watch a movie in an actual theater? Maybe every time I get my hair cut I will be astonished at the wonder of it all. Who am I kidding, I already do that. Hair people are magicians.

And the quarantine is getting to people. As expected, the backlash is beginning. "This is government overreach" "This is overhyped" "We can't believe the reports" "20k people would have died anyway" "They're lying about the numbers" "Hospitals are empty - I see the parking lots"

These are all completely normal responses to a completely abnormal situation. I just hope it doesn't lead to people breaking quarantine before they should because I don't want to read them tweeting about the death of their loved ones. Seriously my Twitter has way too many people mourning and it is HARD.

I don't really have a point here I guess.

Except that I really love washing my hands.

BCG in the Time of Covid

*Obligatory - wow I haven't posted in a while etc etc*

So as you all know, I am in the BCG Trial run by Dr. Denise Faustman to see if the vaccine can help Type 1 Diabetes. The trial is currently in Phase 2. I cannot publicly discuss my results or lack thereof, so don't ask. Thanks.

I had my first shot in March 2016.

In March 2020, I was to head back for my last shot. (I think it's my last? Hard to keep track at this point) I was supposed to have a follow up at the end of April.

But, as you ALSO all know, we're in the middle of an effing pandemic and traveling around the country right now is not advised. I am HUGE proponent of STAY HOME and I've been yelling at people to do so on a regular basis and I think I've annoyed everybody with it but that's OK. I mean, hopefully it's OK. No way to know, really.

I canceled my March visit. The lab understood. They are remaining open, as they are "essential" and told me they would change my April follow up to be a shot visit instead of just a blood draw. Seriously these people are great to work with.

I haven't canceled that yet, but it is very very likely that I will. I don't see this wrapping up in a few weeks.

The lab is willing to work with me to reschedule and I likely won't be dropped from the study, so that is all good.

The BCG vaccine is hitting the news, though, with possible evidence that it can offer some protection against the dreaded Covid-19

New York Times

Science Mag

As with most things concerning the Covid, everything is new and up in the air, but if this can help protect health care workers, and others that are high risk, and me, that would be amazing.

So I would like to get the shot, but I would also like to not travel on 2 airplanes, take public transportation, spend the night in a motel, go to the lab, and then repeat the process to get home.

I have a mask, and lots of soap, but still, I need transporter technology, even though my brother is convinced that it is murder. He feels strongly about Star Trek tech. (or he used to, he may not have opinions anymore, it's not something we discuss often)

Right now I'm leaning HEAVILY towards canceling/postponing. Like, 98 percent.

If I could get an antibody test that would show if I've had it, I would feel a lot better about traveling. I'm working on it, but those odds of that happening are low, if nothing changes. But, if nothing else, things are changing rapidly right now, so who knows.

And is it possible I've had it? It is. I coughed and coughed for 2+ weeks after getting home from Disney World, but I never really had a high fever (I got to 99) or muscle aches, or fatigue. Just a cough. I mean, the cough sucked, it was gnarly, but I have a pulse ox, I was never in danger, and honestly I consulted nobody about it because I would be told to just isolate at home and come in if it got worse, which I was already doing. And tests are few and far between.

Anyway, that's all. If BCG could protect against Covid-19, that would be amazing. Then you could all get shots with me, and we could compare arms. Wouldn't that be fun?

New Diet Coke Flavors - a Review

Ok, I know this blog is supposed to be all about diabetes. But show me a Type 1 who isn't addicted in some form to their favorite Diet Soda Of Choice, and I'll show you a liar. *

I myself prefer Diet Dr. Pepper above Diet Coke. But I will take a nice cold DC any day of the week, and if you say "Is Diet Pepsi OK?" you will get a "No, please bring me some water." Which always makes the server die a little, because, you know, tips.**

So...Diet Coke has 4 new flavors. Ginger Lime, Zesty Blood Orange, Feisty Cherry and Twisted Mango.  To be fair, my store did not have the Mango one. So I will not include that in my review. I got 2 cans of each, one for me and one for my husband, who drinks more Diet Coke than I do. His opinions are included.

First up:

Ginger Lime

Expectation: I love lime in my DC. I love ginger. I will love this.

Reality: I cannot taste the lime - like at all. There is a stronger ginger flavor, and while I do love me some ginger, it tastes a bit like someone just added ginger ale to your Diet Coke. So actually, this would be great for sick days, when you need some ginger ale to settle your stomach, and diet ginger ale can be hard to find sometimes. But oh, how it tastes so good when you are throwing up or nauseated. (Don't forget to check for ketones in that situation, folks!) But this? Really really needs more lime. Pass.

Husband: I have a theory that ginger and lime are ALREADY in the flavor of DC. They had the correct balance, and here they just screwed it up. Do I have to finish this can?

Second in line:

Zesty Blood Orange

Expectation: I was looking forward to this one since I do like an orange slice in my DC. If you want to watch your server do a double take, ask for DC with orange instead of lemon or lime. (My brother in law taught me that)

Reality:  This does NOT taste like DC with an orange slice in it. This tastes like someone went to the fountain drink dispenser at your favorite restaurant and mixed the Diet Coke and the Fanta orange.  If you like Fanta orange, or you like the taste of mixed flavors that your 10 year old makes himself at the cool soda machine, you will like this drink. Again, I will pass.

Husband: Can I just drink regular Diet Coke? This is bad.

Third up:

Feisty Cherry

Expectation: I generally hate cherry sodas, so I don't see why this would be any better. I expect to hate it.

Reality: Yep. Blech. Bad.

Husband: Tastes like someone mixed Diet Coke with grape soda. Worst of the bunch.  The "feistiness" is terrible.


I am less excited to try the Mango one now. I will still try it, you know, in the interests of science, and my friend who tried them today says she'd drink it again, so maybe it's the best one of the bunch.  I kept googling to find out when these were going to hit my area, and no dates were ever given, but I did read that these were invented to appeal to La Croix drinkers.

So I bought some La Croix to try, and well, these are not going to appeal to La Croix drinkers. La Croix drinkers are the same people who order club soda and lime on airplanes. La Croix has very little flavor, but isn't bad once you add some sweetener. I myself added Truvia, feel free to dump the real sugar in, should your pancreas oblige.

I don't know WHY the good people at Diet Coke didn't call me to test their flavors. Or anyone in the Type 1 community, really. I make much better drinks at home, just with Torani syrups. Squeeze a lime, add some coconut syrup - yum. Splash of vanilla - divine. Or again, just squeeze a little bit of an orange into it. Delicious.

Am I giving up Diet Coke?  Not even a little bit. Am I going to buy these again?  Not even once.

The new can is cool, though.



*They're like people who say they aren't Journey fans. Liars, all of them. I grudgingly admit there might be a few out there, but Type 1's do take their diet soda seriously.

**Water is better for you. I know this. But it is not that tasty.

Fun Facts, Gifs, and Collections

So..I've been dealing with Medtronic lately.

Yeah.

Fun fact #1: Medtronic gives a $500 credit if you send back your old pump within 60 days (90 days? 30 days? Some vague amount of days). It's a sneaky way of making sure you only have their equipment to deal with.


Fun fact #2: I did not send back my old pump. In fact, after a month of wearing the brick that is 670g, I put my Tandem T:slim back on. I couldn't do the Medtronic anymore. Too big. Too bulky. Too clicky.

Me every time I had to click another damn button.

Fun Fact #3: They charged my credit card $523 for my sensors, and as it turned out, it was covered by my insurance, and so I should have been charged bupkiss. (Does anyone say bupkiss anymore?) So - I owe them $500, they owe me $523.  I emailed my rep about this, and got crickets.

What most money conversations look like

Fun Fact #4: They started calling me to collect that $500. I would pick up the phone, and then get put on hold, and that just didn't fly with me. Well today they finally picked up after they called me (seriously, like, what?) and what followed was probably the greatest conversation I've ever had with a medical device company.

"Is this Heidi?"

Yes it is.

"Ok, let me pull up your account, oh it looks like....did you ever send back your old pump?"

No I did not.

"Oh, well that's what this is - you need to send that back honey, and that's why this went into billing."

"Yeah, I'm not going to do that. I am wearing it. I like it better.

(This blew her ever loving mind.)

Fun Fact #5 :I wish I were Anna Kendrick

"Wait, what? You like the old pump BETTER?"

Yes.

"Well, then what are you going to DO? This is considered a bill then. Do you want to set up a payment plan for this?"

No, I'm not paying it. You guys owe me money for the last shipment you sent out. If you refund me the $523, I'll pay the $500.

(In my head, I answered the 'what are you going to DO' question with "Sell the whole system on ebay" but I did not say that). (Nor will I do that.)

(Frantic typing)

"Are you talking about the shipment sent on 12/29?"

Yep, that's the one.

"We haven't received your insurance payment yet, you need to look again, and at where it says 'patient responsibility.' What does it say in that line? Does it say $523?"

It says $0.

"ohh.....When did you get that letter explaining that bill?"

It's online. I don't get letters - processed 1/4.

"Oh, well then yeah, you should be refunded then..once we get that insurance payment, we can process your payment and apply it to this pump. Let me see if you're on auto-ship, (no way in hell I'm on auto-ship) looks like you're not. Ok, that should do it."

Thank you.

So KUDOS to them for being able to apply the payment for one order to the bill for another order. So many companies would have to do the dance of refunding, then billing again, different systems, yada yada yada.  But ANTI-KUDOS to them for calling and putting me on hold, also for overcharging me by $523 in the first place, especially since I was quoted $300/something.

 Also, for all the clicking. You cannot turn off the clicking. And the stupid double A battery. And the stupid software that only works with IE.

But it was fun, just to be able to tell her 'Nope, not paying it.' "yep, you owe me money' "nope, not sending it back'.  There was no emotion attached, just me being in charge of the whole collections call.

Also, as to when I'm going to actually pull out the stuff they sent me and go into Auto Mode?  I have no answer to that question. Maybe never. Maybe tomorrow. I thought I'd give it the old college try, just like I did with Manual Mode, see what I think, but now I'm thinking, nope.

I would have to go to training with the trainer I dislike, (I answered her text about when I'm coming in with a solid "I'll let you know") and then deal with Medtronic for the rest of my life....ughhhh. The thought fills me with ANTI-JOY. Otherwise known as IRRATIONAL ANXIETY.

For now, I'm back on the old pump. Until it decides to die. And then??? Truthfully, I'll probably do whatever I can to stay with Tandem. Which will probably cost me money. Which is a bummer. And I might switch because of it, but not today.

NOT TODAY.

Thoughts about choice...

...and no, this is not an abortion post. Sorry to freak you out, there.

(Follow up on the last post.  A1C in Sep was 6.4. Done by the lab in Boston.  I now like the lab in Boston better than the lab here).

So. I've been pumping for about 4 years now. Apparently, in diabetes-land, this means your pump will now spontaneously explode and you will die quickly.  Because...THE WARRANTY IS UP!!! DANGER! DANGER!!!!

You have to be very careful that your pump doesn't turn into Walter White overnight.

Ugh. This has not been fun for me.  This is because I have United Health Care.  (UHC).

Some back story:

I have been using a t:slim pump, made by Tandem. Last May, UHC and Medtronic got in bed together and decided the sweet baby they would make would take the form of forcing everybody to use Medtronic pumps from here on out.  Tandem stock takes an immediate nose dive.

The Type 1 community went a little bananas went this got announced, and did lotsa tweeting and calling, (#mypumpmychoice) but as is often the case, tweeting and calling only results in a huge middle finger from the people who just don't give a flying turd what you think. (In this case, that would be Medtronic and UHC).

Takes on a whole new meaning when applied to companies.  Get it?  GET IT?

UHC's response was basically:  Most people use Medtronic anyway, so really, suck it up, snowflakes.

And we snowflakes wept a little. Because these companies are run by Weasel-bags.

End of backstory.

My warranty was up (AAAAGGHH!! EVERYBODY FREAK OUT!!!!) and the phone calls started.

"Hi, this is so-and-so from Tandem, and we would like to upgrade your pump."

"Fantastic. Let's do it. But it's going to be a fight, because UHC."

"Ok, we called UHC.  You're approved for out of network, which is not really approval at all, it basically means you will have to pay cash, and so to upgrade will cost you mucho denaro. Shall we proceed?"

"But I don't have mucho denaro.  Last time it only cost me little denaro. And I love your company. What can I do?"

"Unfortunately, not a whole lot. Let me know if you decide to give us all your money."

"k"

So then I get a prescription for a Medtronic pump.  And they call me and let me know they are going to send me the 670g, aka the latest and greatest, aka the only closed loop on the market, aka an artificial pancreas of sorts.

I should be happy. but I am not.  And do you know why I am not?  Because I didn't choose this, it was chosen for me.  I would not have chosen this pump.  I don't care that it's the first closed loop, I actually would prefer the second or third closed loop, let somebody else work out the kinks.  I don't buy the first time anything.  And you will pry the Dexcom out of my cold, dead hands. Plus why would I support Medtronic?  They're the devil.  They are everything that's wrong with drug companies and medical equipment companies. They are Weasel-bags.

After the initial phone call saying they got the scrip, and to let me know the sensors are probably going to be backordered, there was radio silence for weeks.

Finally, I called - "Hello?  Is this happening?"

"Um let me call you back."

"Hi. Yes, it's happening, I'm taking over for the person who was supposed to do this, and we're waiting for approval from your insurance."

"Um, well Tandem got "approval"in a day so this just feels like you didn't submit it yet. No way approval takes this long."

"Yes, well, we're just waiting."

THE NEXT DAY

"So we got approval, looks like you've met your in-network deductible, so this will cost you medium denaro,  and you'll get notified when it ships." (Feeding my theory that nobody did anything)

Crickets. For a month.  But I understand, backorders, etc etc.  Really Medtronic is completely overwhelmed at this point, because they submitted this thing for FDA approval, but didn't expect to actually get FDA approval, and there you go..panic mode, backorders, crickets, the whole shebang. (Does anybody say "the whole shebang" anymore?)

Finally, SHIPMENT!  And here it is.  This pic compares the two pumps.

T slim on the right. Medtronic on the left.

There is not something on my screen, I don't know what that is. Probably a ghost.

ISN'T IT MASSIVE?

My husband -  "This is really the latest and greatest in diabetes tech?"

"Yes."

"Is that a double A battery in there?"

"Yes. And it looks like I will be replacing that every few days."

"It's not a charging battery like your phone and your current pump?"

"No."

"So bulk double a batteries are now on the list?"

"I guess. We need to get the lithium ones, I hear those might last a full week."

I haven't told him yet that the software only works with Internet Explorer. He might just pass out, and we don't want that.

Plus, I need a new glucometer.  That UHC won't cover.  Why UHC will cover the pump but not the meter that goes with it is one of those great mysteries that go unsolved and will cost me more money.

(OK it's not a mystery.  UHC doesn't have the same contract with Bayer that they do with OneTouch.  The least they could have done in this deal is cover the meter, or make Medtronic be compatible with the one they like, but no, that would be asking too much.  TOO MUCH. BE GRATEFUL)

And today I get an email asking me to sign up for a training class.  Here's some options for times, it'll take 3 hours of your day in the middle of the week, not to mention an hour travel because you live in boony-land, (not their fault) oh, and please read this material before you come.  Which is ok, but the material is for the older version of this pump, because oh, they actually haven't finished the manual for the 670g yet.  But it's totally cool, they're pretty similar.

I don't want to go to this training.  I don't want to switch pumps.  Also, I can't even get the whole "closed loop" thing going, because the sensors for the CGM are on backorder until May, and oh, did I mention that Medtronic has 3 plants in Puerto Rico and I don't know if you know this, but Puerto Rico is pretty much underwater now, and has no power, because of all the death hurricanes and stuff, so...this is basically just another pump but heavier.

(Click here for ways to help Puerto Rico. Seriously.)

So yes, I'm mad.

Because we live in a time where we should be getting MORE options for diabetes, not less. I should be able to look at all the available pumps, decide which one would be right for me, and go with it, even if it isn't the latest and greatest. I can see if my numbers were crappy how they might step in, but they're not. This disease takes so much away from me already, it can at least give me options for treatment.  My options at this point are:

1. Pay about 5 times as much for the pump/sensor I want.
2. Go back to shots.
3. Use this pump, and support a company I hate and abandon two companies (Dexcom and Tandem) I love.
4. Try again to build my own loop, with OpenAPS.  It was too hard before but I just might be ready now. Screw all of you, because #wearenotwaiting.  Hmmm.
5. Something else I haven't thought of.  What is it?  Tell me.

This is not ideal.

And I know a lot of people LOVE this pump. Heck, maybe I'll get over myself and love it too. I will never love how I was forced to go on this pump or suffer financially. How my options were limited by a bunch of Weasel-bags. (I'm still ticked I'm using Humalog instead of Novolog.  I was willing to pay the difference but they stopped sending it to me.)

 I know the Medtronic employees I deal with are not at fault, and I try to keep that in mind as I deal with them, even though I am angry. But my anger means nothing.  Because you know what?     NOBODY CARES.

(Here I would insert a video of Lily Tomlin telling you "We don't care, We're the Phone Company, We Don't Have To", but I can't because it's copyrighted. So just watch it in your head).

The end.  Thanks for listening.

Adventures In A1C -ing

So, recently I had a doctor's appointment. (2 weeks ago, maybe?)

It was on a Thursday.  On Friday he called to tell me my lab results, and my A1C was 6.8.

And, not to be one of "those patients" but there was no effing way it was that high.  I couldn't believe it.  So I freaked out and spend lots of money on various A1C testing.  Let's follow my trail of crazy, shall we?

Friday - Went to Walgreens.  Bought an A1C now type test, Walgreens brand.  Result was wonky.  Turns out it was expired, and this is one of those things where expired ACTUALLY means "doesn't work." (Not always true in medicine, btw). But they didn't have any more.  Very nice people.

Went to CVS, bought the same thing.  Ran it. 6.1. NOW we're talking. Felt better.  Knew I couldn't call my doctor with a home test result, though.  Went on Amazon and ordered a whole bunch more, a different brand, the kind my friend recommended.

Saturday - went online to Sonora Quest, and ordered a patient lab of an A1C. Went into a lab in the back of a Safeway and got blood drawn. Picked up a couple things at the store too. Kicked myself for not remembering to do this Friday, because actual lab test - cheaper than home test, and doctor will accept it.

Can I just take a moment to say "shout out to patient ordered labs?"  It's so awesome that AZ does this. GO! Order tons of tests! Obsess over numbers you don't fully understand! Wondering if you have high cholesterol but don't have a Primary Care? Order the lab yourself! I love this whole concept. Then take them to your doctor and have it entered into your chart instead of going to the doc, have them run stuff, and then wait days for the result, and then have them have you come in for a second visit, blah blah blah....

Monday - A1C Now tests come from Amazon Prime.  Run one.  It says 6.4.  Lab tests (that I had drawn on Saturday!) came back and said 6.6.  It came with a lovely attachment about how I might have diabetes and I should probably go to the doctor. Thanks, man.  Appreciate it.

So now, within what is basically a weekend, my A1C is anywhere from 6.1 - 6.8, with, let's face it, the two most likely candidates being 6.6 and 6.8.  I figure I can't really call my doctor with a "ha! Your lab clearly screwed up!" with a 6.6 v 6.8.

I acknowledge I have been crazy and I take a step back.

Until today.

Today I look at the second CVS kit and the 10 A1C nows I have, and decide to run them both at the same time.  Literally, the results were 30 seconds apart.

Yeah. One says 6.8, and one says 6.3.  The only difference was which finger I drew the blood from.  So not only are these not that consistent with lab tests, they're not really consistent with each other.  But then, different lab tests aren't completely consistent with each other, either, based on my crazy experimenting. SO WHAT TO DO?

Probably just take a deep breath and carry on.  Boring.

What if?

Ok peeps.  I have things on my mind.

I've been thinking a lot about my involvement in the Faustman trial.  In fact, I word vomited about it all over my friends today at lunch. Sorry about that, guys.  ("Oh am I talking too loud?  Sometimes I get over excited.")

And this is what I'm ruminating about -

WHAT IF IT WORKS?

What if she actually does it, and cures me?  Or if it doesn't completely cure me, what if she gets me any pancreatic function back?  A little, maybe even a lot?  And not just for me?  For all y'all? (Let's pretend I'm Southern for a sec.)

How do you say "Thank you" for something like that?

Hey, thanks for giving me my life back and curing my chronic disease - here's some flowers and a gift card to P.F. Changs.  Do they have that restaurant in Boston?  Hope so!  Thanks!  TTFN.

Maybe a goofy card? I don't know.

I was talking to my sister about this, and she has kidney disease, and is facing a transplant down the road.  And she had the same question - how do you thank somebody for a kidney?  (Hey, ever thought about donating a kidney, we hear it doesn't really hurt that bad...)

And...I don't know.  I don't know the answer to this.  It's still early days in the trial. no results are in.  I can't really speak to my experience.

BUT YOU GUYS.  WHAT IF IT WORKS?

Feel free to donate.  Thanks for donating last time.  Here's a Thank You Card.  Feel free to check all 3 boxes, because you are that awesome.

P.S. If you think of another fund raiser I can do, let me know.

8 years.

Today is my 8 year diaversary.  I didn't even remember until Facebook reminded me. Anniversaries are weird things.  Sometimes it knocks me out and I can't stop reliving diagnosis, sometimes it's like "meh."  

What?  Just because I go practically an entire year without posting doesn't mean anything.  It's been quite the year.  And I am pretty much under a gag order when it comes to talking about my participation in the Faustman trial, so I can't tell you much, except that Boston is pretty cold most of the time.  Also, really far from Tucson. 

My primary care called and said I had to go back in since I haven't been in years. So I did, in which case the Nurse Practitioner pulled up my chart, and said "It looks like you've been seeing your endo regularly.  Look, you just got your eyes examined.  You're clearly seeing doctors. Why are you here?"

"Bureaucracy?  Insurance?"

"Ok then."

I actually have an endo appointment next week, so the Primary Care ran all the labs for me so it'll be nice to just discuss the results.

A1C was 6.6  I was THRILLED.  Downloading the Dex after Christmas showed an estimated of 8, so I had to kick the new year in the butt and really focus more.  I had been running high and having major spikes and pretty much doing the minimum to fix them. So I was glad to see the butt kicking I gave myself helped.  Also - A1C is truly heavily weighted by the last few weeks.  If this had shown my Christmas numbers....

I have decided the secret to diabetes control is pre-bolusing (which gives me major anxiety) and water.  So much water.  I hate water.  It is not delicious.  But it helps. 

I would prefer this to be Diet Dr. Pepper.

However, my urine (what?  I talk about pee a lot - diabetes, you know) showed elevated microalbumin.  (around 54 - they want it below 30) I am not sure exactly what that means except that my diabetes is affecting my kidneys.  I will have to discuss this with my endo.  Dr. Google says the treatment is blood pressure meds.  I have super low blood pressure. I'm worried that if I add an ace inhibitor,  I'll become the incredible fainting girl, and I really don't want to be passing out everywhere I go.  It doesn't sound fun.  So we'll see.

All other labs looked good.  She didn't run a lipid test, so that'll be run later.  Thyroid is good.  

See y'all in a year.  Peace out. 

MUST...BLOG...PHASE...2..AND YET..

OK, folks.

I'm IN!

I am a member of the Faustman Phase II trials.  I went there, I got screened, and I'm IN.

I am supremely happy about this.

Here's a picture of happiness.

Also, I love this song and this show.

I will say this, however -

I signed a paper that said I wouldn't talk too much about it on social media or blogs, etc. so I am very limited as to what I can say.

Of course I can tell my friends and family about it, but they want the internet presence to be limited, as as not to compromise the study in any way.

Which makes me a little sad, because I wanted to blog EVERY STINKING DETAIL, mostly so I can bore you all to death, but also REALLY mostly so I can remember it all.  But I can't. So this is what I will say.

Boston is cold.  But it has good Italian food.

I will be traveling there, often leaving at unheard of times in the morning, because it is far away.

I want the REAL DRUG.  GIMME. It's a double-blind, so we don't know what I will get, but I know what I want.

You can read about her research on Faustmanlab.org.  You can also donate money.

They're still recruiting, so if you want to join me in my coolness, shoot them an email.

I got to meet Dr. Faustman.   Here's a picture to prove it.

I should have put makeup on.

That's it!  Send good vibes that I get the DRUG.  I want the DRUG, peeps.

Studies,  They're fun.

(Also, I went to the endocrinologist a couple weeks ago.  Labs were good - a1c at 6.7 - LDL cholesterol down to 138. Thyroid still fine. Yay.)

For those of you who keep asking...

...what's the deal with the Boston thing?  What's up with your trial?  How's it going with Faustman?

Here we go.

I sort of know what the deal is.  Kinda.

I received an email ("Dear Trial Participant") (I was really happy to see that greeting) with details and such.  However, the main detail, as to when I will start, is not yet set in stone.

They are beginning the "screening visits" in October.  They do have 150 people to screen (at least!) so I have no idea if I will be going out in October or if it will be later.  They also included a schedule of what the visits will be after that, should I pass the screen.

I really really want to pass the screen.

REALLY.

I have to have my c-peptide at a certain level to do it, so let's all keep our fingers crossed for that.  Prayers, chants, dances, whatever you got - I NEED TO PASS THE SCREEN.

After I pass the screening visit (see what I did there?) I will have to spend some time in Boston, in the winter, during a crazy El Nino year.  That should be fun.  Hopefully, the travel times aren't during crazy storms or anything.

I went and got TSA pre checked to make my travel experience better.

I will need a coat.  A good one.


And here's a cool video about her and this trial. It's long, so settle in, but she is AWESOME and I'm excited.  (2000 emails a week!  WHAT?! And I'm on the short list? SO EXCITING.)

Whiny, Self-Indulgent, First World Post About Clothes

You can't say I didn't warn you in the title.

So, here's the deal.

I hate everything in my closet.

I didn't used to.  Well, scratch that.  I DID used to.  Then I went out with Alicia from chiconashoestring, and I learned how to dress for my body type, how to shop, and my world was turned upside down.  It was amazing.  I highly recommend her.  I won't go into everything, but she taught me a lot, and a light bulb was turned on, and I thought that light would go on burning, and this was one area of my life I had finally figured out.  It's good to have one area figured out, you know?

Suddenly I liked what was in my closet.  I liked shopping.  I could walk into a store and instantly know what would work on me and why. I could grab virtually anything in my closet and feel comfortable and put together.  I was living the dream.  LIVING THE DREAM, I tell you.

So why am I back to the nightmare now?  Why do I walk into my (newly done, beautiful) closet and just sigh as I stare at the organized hangers?  I am not sure, but I have a theory.

It's all about fit.

That was one thing Alicia taught me, and taught me well.  The main reason I didn't like my clothes were because they weren't fitting me well, and not doing anything for my figure.  They were all mostly too big, too boxy, or just wrong for my body type.

So out they went.  And shopping became a joy, and I finally understood why women liked it.  I lived the dream for years.

Now I have gained about five pounds.  I am not complaining about this, I probably needed to gain them, and this is NOT a post about "oh, me, I'm so fat now, how will I ever 'lose the weight?'"  NO.  That's not what's happening here.  I am not heavy, and the five pounds don't really bother me, and I have no plans to lose them.

EXCEPT - they make it so my clothes don't fit anymore.  And THAT's what I don't like about them.  The pants are just a little too tight.  The shirts tug in places they didn't used to, "uniboob" appears every now and again. The skirt shows a slight bulge. And it's annoying.  So I pull on a favorite outfit and tug and pull, and sigh.

I now see the allure of wearing yoga pants every day.  They fit no matter what.  My boss won't go for it.  I know - I've asked him.

I have a (slightly) new body type, and I don't know how to shop for it.

Also -  I have had these clothes too long.

You know the theory of how you're only supposed to keep things that 'spark joy?'  That a few pieces that you love are far better than lots that you hate?  I am a firm believer in that - buying something because it was two bucks at a thrift store that you never wear is not doing you any favors. So I have tried to keep it to a few things I really love.

However, I am getting tired of these things.  (Except the good jeans, I could wear those every day until I die.  Again, my boss is not a fan.) They 'sparked joy' for a long time, now they're just the 'same old - same old' plus now they fit funny and so I am tempted to throw everything from Target into the cart just to finally have something different.  And so I do. Then I don't like what I just bought.  So my closet becomes a mish mash of old "joyful" things that don't quite fit anymore and new "possibly trendy but do I really like them" things that don't really fit well either because they were bought on a whim. It's not a great mix.

Let's also not forget that my taste runs to old lady. I've always been a tad sensitive to it.  I'll grab something that I think is cute and have to ask my friends "Is this old lady?"  And  you know, sometimes I get the nod.  You know the one.  The "I hate to be nodding but it's for your own good" nod.  The one that says "step away from that neckline".  But....why is it in this section of the store if it's old lady?  Just...Step away.  Don't pick it up again.  We'll pretend you didn't like that.

Nothing like having your daughter inform you that you look like a Grandma and then have all your facebook friends say - yeah, maybe.  I don't know how to get out of my old lady rut.  Maybe I just have to say - I'm an old lady.  Deal with it.

And since I can't afford to run out and replace everything I own, and am not even sure what I like anymore, I don't really do anything about it.  Also, I can't ask Alicia because I don't live in Utah anymore.  I  just sigh and tug and whine.  I have friends come over and go through my closet to convince me everything in there isn't heinous. That worked for about a week.  But there are days when I wouldn't be sad if a small house fire destroyed all my clothes, and I had to get new ones.  Of course, I wouldn't know which new ones to buy.  I don't know which stores to go to anymore. They'd all be way too young or way too old for me, nor would they fit me correctly.  I need a whole new tutorial on what my body looks like now, and better yet, what it will look like in the future.  I'm not exactly "youthening" you know.

This, my friends, is the definition of first world problems.  I know it.  But you know 'we do get judged and judgment matters."  (Did you know that women need more sleep?  I love that) Still, I think I may have to go donate to a third world country just to make up for the guilt of whining about clothes.

Also, diabetes sucks.

The end.

Always Answer Your Phone If It's a Boston Number

I got a phone call this week. It was from Faustman.  They were going through their database and I fit the profile for people who can be in Phase 2, and they were just wondering if I was still interested.

Let me think about that.

So it has been a while (2013) since I had given blood, so I still have to pass the initial screen, but my levels were at 20 before, and they need them above 5, so they're fairly hopeful. The gal said something to the effect of  "you've only had it six years - I'm sure you still have something."  Let's hope you're right.  I didn't ask about the urine I sent them.

I literally know nothing else.  They want me to fax them my latest A1C, and I told them I had one coming up this month, so they want that.  They will call me "in about a month" to set up my initial appointment to screen me and PUT ME IN PHASE TWO.

I don't know how long I will have to be in Boston, or how often, or who pays, or any of that lovely stuff.  I don't care.  I will work it out.  Where there's a will, there's a way.

In other news, the Invokana isn't being nearly as good as it used to, I don't know if I just slacked off in control or I got used to it, or what.  I did have a day where the pump was being wonky, (I ended up getting it replaced) and I don't know if it was solely that, or the drug as well, but I had some fairly serious ketones - I don't remember feeling that nasty in a long time.  The nausea was intense - I drank gallons of water and it took a day and a half to have them disappear completely - it was the first time in a while I seriously considered the ER. I cancelled my evening plans and peed on those ketone sticks every 15 minutes, watching them go from "very large" to "large" to  "medium" back to "large" and then "medium" , eventually "small"...SO FUN.

Plus, the drug is over $400.  I have a savings card that makes it free, and  that's supposed to be good for a year.  But this last refill they called and said I had to get preapproval, so I don't know what's going to happen when I show up to get some today. I'm not paying over $400, even though I still like the drug.  It does have an increased of risk of DKA, and it does make me pee, but my post prandial spikes are better.  It also is supposed to increase your cholesterol, and you know how much I hate my statins.  We shall see if this is a long term thing.  

But I do have to adjust my nighttime basals, I'm going low consistently, to the point of if I don't fall asleep at least as high as 180, I know will wake up with a low - potentially a bad one.  Right now if I am normal when I go to bed (which, you know, is ideal), I use a decreased temp rate to fix the low.  It does, so what I really need is to just go in and adjust them.

The real news is:  Faustman.  Wants me in phase two.  

  

I Like New Drugs and I Cannot Lie

YOU GUYS!

Seriously - GUYS!!!!!  This week, brought to you by Invokana.

I'm on a new drug.  (One that makes me feeeel, like I feel when I'm with yoooooouuuuuuuuu....)

This is Huey Lewis.  Because I'm old.

And I have been on this new drug for exactly one week.  I started it on a weekend so in case it brought on a bunch of new lows or something, it wouldn't happen while I was driving on I-10.  Safety first.  (You can dance if you want to...)

Let's look at the difference, shall we?

Ok, so I have the current week and all the weeks before.  Let's keep in mind that I knew my doctor's appointment was coming and so I have been busting my butt trying to keep things in range.    

Average Blood Glucose last week: 158.  
The week before that? 162.
 Before that?  174.
And before THAT it was 193 - you can see the effect butt busting has on my sugars.

Average Blood Glucose this week? 139.

This includes literally no exercise and munching of Frosted Mini Wheats by the handful without bolusing.  Like I say, I don't see the doctor for four months, I can relax a little.  (Which is terrible, feel free to judge me harshly for said attitude.)

And the number I care a lot about, and if you have a Dexcom, you will know about this.

My Average Standard Deviation -this shows basically how big the swings are - for example - a SD of 50 means your average might be 100, but you are swinging between 50 and 150 to get it.  Make sense?  So....smaller is better.  Means tighter control.  Less impact on your body.  Less "roller coaster".

Average SD last week: 43.
Week before that: 54
Before that: 61
You see where I'm going with this?

Average SD this week? 39.

That is AWESOME.  Below 40 is super hard to get. And again - with no change in diet, exercise, stress, any of those bug a boos that attack your sugars so dreadfully.  What I did change?  My I:C ratio.  I upped it to avoid lows.

So an average blood glucose of 139 with a less than 40 SD?  Means I am seeing a LOT more numbers in my target range.  A LOT,  In fact, almost ALL OF THEM.  (but not QUITE all, because I still have diabetes).

So to go from an average of 174 with a SD of 61 (so basically 113 to 235) to 139 with 39 (so 100 to 178) with the addition of one pill is spectacularly awesome. I used to hit that 200 beeping range on Dex multiple times a day.  Now if I hear it once a day, I know it'll only be there shortly, and I have far more "no hitters" than I ever did.

Also, did I mention that I changed my ratio from 1:12 to 1:20 - based on recommendations from my endo that I might go low if I don't?  Did I mention that 100% in range fasting numbers - and the straight lines on my graph as I wake up and look at my night?  No?  Well, I'm mentioning them now.

Am I off the pump?  Of course not.  Do I still count carbs?  You betcha.  Do I grab random snacks and worry a lot less?  I do.  Do I pee more?  YES.  Is it worth it?  YES.

See how often I'm in target range?  And this is with a high target set at 160.  If I change it to 180, literally 10% is out of range.

Have I gushed enough?  This post is getting long.

Do you know what this feels like?  I will tell you.....

HONEYMOONING.

And it's still too early to say, I don't know if your body gets "used to" this drug or not, but a drug that gives you your honeymoon back?  I'm in!

ht: diabetes mine

Endo visit - here we are again.

Ok peeps - my life has changed DRAMATICALLY since my last endo visit 6 months ago.  I mean, okay, well, not that dramatically, I mean, I didn't move, or get divorced, or survive a tsunami or anything.

I got a full time job and re-entered the work force after roughly 15 years at home.

My husband left his job to pursue his own business, for the second time in our marriage.

My father got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

My dogs peed in the house. (Oh, wait, that's not that different).

Anyway, when he looked at my Dex and said "You were running high on Friday - wait - all weekend you were high - do you happen to know why?"  All I could say was "stress."

This is my "My dad has cancer and my husband has no job" blood sugar day.

But honestly, most of that isn't all that stressful.  I enjoy working, always have.  I missed it, and am happy to be back, and I like my coworkers and company. I know my husband is going to rock in his own business, because frankly, he's done it before.  My dad having pancreatic cancer....well, that one just sucks.  I got nothing.  Can't even offer him my own shot pancreas.

So with days like this, I anxiously held my breath for the A1C.

It came back.  6.7%.  I was really surprised.  Sitting in an office all day is far different from chasing your kiddos around the house, and heading to your friends to work out, and cleaning up daily, and etc etc etc.  I really thought it'd be closer to 7.2, especially with all the spiking.  Seriously, sugars were spiking constantly.  SPIKE!  It was like an episode of Buffy constantly.  I kept waiting for Drusilla to show up.

Also, I learned that taking cholesterol pills faithfully and working out for  - oh, approximately one week - right before your doctor's appointment truly pays off - as my LDL was 140, when last time it was over 200 (not the whole cholesterol - just the LDL).  So he's good with my sporadic taking of the pills.

"Do you take cholesterol pills?"

"Sometimes."

"Oh right, you're like me!"

And so it goes - we've officially added another pill - and this is one I will take.  It's called Invokana, and even though it's approved for Type 2's, he's giving it to a bunch of his Type 1's and loving the results, and he wanted me to take it last time, (well, technically it was Farxiga last time but they are pretty much the same thing, and nobody cares about technicalities so I'm not sure why I mentioned it) but last time I felt like I was doing fine with my 6.2 and didn't feel the need to add an expensive drug.  Yeah, I was cocky.  The diabetes universe doesn't like that. Also, the people on that Invokana website freak me out.

My sugars for about a week.  Super in range, right?  No spiking at all. Where's Buffy when you need her?

So now I wanted something to help with the spikes.  Something other than pre-bolusing, which, let's face it, I suck at.  Even though I know it helps.  I just can't get over the fear of it.  Something in me just won't bolus unless food is less than 5 minutes away, which makes literally no sense, because the kitchen isn't going anywhere, and hopefully one day I will get past it and bolus when food is 20 minutes out, but you know what?  TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY.

And so I get this drug.  And it punishes me by making me pee.  There are days when there is literally no difference, and days where I feel like I'm pre-diagnosis, running to the potty every 20 minutes.  And that's what it's supposed to do, and it also rewards me by helping with the sugars.  It definitely helps.  I haven't had to monetarily pay for it yet, still using the samples he gave me, and I'm sure I will cry a little at the bill, especially since we switch insurances tomorrow and all that lovely work I've done on my deductible is now gone.

Medicine is expensive.  In other news, the sun rises in the east.

Oh, and he examined my feet.  Had some trouble locating the pulse in my left foot, which doesn't surprise me at all, because that foot feels numb on one side a lot and if there's any circulation issues or nerve damage, that's where it is.  Right foot is totally fine, though.  Strangeness.

Thyroid still fine - no need for meds there yet.

And so I get to see him in four months, because he wrote "3 to 6 months" on the check out form, and that's what the receptionist came up with.  So that'll be fun.

See you all then!  Peace out.

Sometimes Chanting is the Only Option

So last night the Dex buzzed 4 times at me.

(4 times is bad.  It's the hard alarm set at 55, telling me I'm pretty low).

I stared at it.  It said my blood glucose was 50 and dropping. Not dropping super fast, mind you, but on the way down.

So guess what I did?

Ate candy?  Drank juice?  Tested to verify?

Nope.  I did NOTHING.  I hit the button, and fell back asleep.

That....was not the wisest decision I've ever made.  I don't even know why I did it.  I can only blame middle of the night fatigue plus "low blood sugar brain".

I know you're all dying to know whether I died or not.

SPOILER ALERT:  I survived.

I just woke up later, feeling much much worse.  The dizziness, the sweat, the absolute and total NEED for glucose fueling my every move.  I grab my Dexcom, only to see the word LOW stare back at me.  I was lucid, however, for which I am grateful.

Dug around, found the candy, and popped 3 Starbursts into my mouth.  I did not eat the wrappers. Yes, I have eaten the wrappers in the past.  Sometimes unwrapping is too much coordination for a low blood sugar shaky hand to handle.  (Which is probably why I should buy glucose tabs).  (blech.)

Meter and Dexcom both showed 48.  Never have I been so happy to see a 48 on the Dex, because it meant the LOW word was gone, and I was now above 40.

And as I lay there - the chanting started.

"I've treated already.  I'll feel better soon.  I've treated already - I'll feel better soon.  I'VE TREATED ALREADY- I'LL FEEL BETTER SOON!"

Even though I feel like I'm going to explode, I probably won't.  

I chant this to myself to avoid eating the entire package of Starburst, plus drink all the milk and juice in the house, plus make myself a sandwich and have a bowl of cereal.

There are times when I have lows where the chanting doesn't work - the fear is stronger. and I overtreat, knowing I will have insulin later, and not caring.  All I want is to feel normal again, stat.   There will be more of them, I'm sure.  But sometimes this chanting works.  Last night it did.

And then the chanting stopped, because I actually started to feel better.  It is always a glorious feeling, when the low blood sugar tiger recedes into the background.  When you feel like yourself again, when you take a breath of air after being under too long, if I may mix metaphors terribly.

Dex buzzed 3 times.  3 times means below 70, which means I am coming up, and sure enough, it says 56 and rising.  This is nice, because often times Dex will take a while to register a rise from a bad low, it has some serious lag time there.  But with that assurance, I fell asleep again.

Woke up to a lovely 109.  Didn't even have a hanglowver.

But I have learned not to ignore the Dex again.  Which, you know, is a lesson I didn't need.  I already know this.  I just need to tell my middle of the night self about it.

Results and a New Diagnosis

What?  You DON'T post private medical information on the internet?

Phone call today after the appointment yesterday.  Keep in mind that although I love my doctor, their office does not have an A1C machine (what?!) and I always get my lab results the next day.  Bizarre, but what are you doing to do?

Seriously, the doctor's appointments have become "Hey, good to see you.  Still doing well?" "Fine.  Here's a study I want to join..." "Great!  How are the kids?"  etc.etc.

"So....Your A1C."

Pause, Pause..Anxiety level rising.

"What do you think it was?"

I had downloaded Dexcom data lately, I thought I had a good shot.

"6.8?"

"6.2!!"  He almost shouted it.  It was kind of hilarious.  "I mean, that's almost TOO low."

Oh, no, it's OK, I'll take it.  I don't think it's too low at all.  5.2 might be running too low, maybe.  But I'm perfectly fine with a 6.2.  Especially since I haven't had a ton of hypos.

WBC still low.  Whatever that means.

Cholesterol still high.  Like that means anything.  (Well, he thinks it does.  He asked me to compromise and take a statin once or twice a week, maybe?  Ok then, I'll think about it).

Thyroid function good.

HOWEVER.

This time we did a check for antibodies for Hashimoto's, as my sister has it, and my dad, and seriously, I think I do too.  I've gained a little weight and the fatigue level has ratcheted up a bit.

As it turns out, well yes.  Yes, I do.  I am apparently awesome at diagnosing myself.  (I knew I had diabetes, I knew I had Hashimoto's, this is just going to FEED the hypochondriac in me.  That's going to be awesome for everyone around me.)

And so the auto immune diseases add up.

So that's cool.

Actually, I'm perfectly fine with it, as I was totally and completely expecting it, and seriously, it's on both sides of the family, it was coming.  Also, apparently I love adverbs.

Anyone else miss School House Rock?  Just me?  OK then.

He doesn't want me to do thyroid meds yet, as the function was good.  Dr. Google has differing opinions on whether antibodies require meds or not, but since I pretty much feel fine, except for the fatigue, which isn't that debilitating, especially since I upped the exercise factor, I think I'll wait.  At the next appointment, if I'm 15 pounds heavier and can't get out of bed, there will be a discussion.

And then I hear it in my head "Why wait until you can't function? Get on meds now."  But I don't know what level they'd shoot for if my thyroid shows up fine at the moment. ?  I don't know how this works yet.  Probably the low wbc, cholesterol, and thyroid are all linked.  Because pretty much everything is linked.  Also, did you know Hashimoto's can cause vocal nodules?  Which I get?  Hmmm....Maybe it wasn't all my yelling after all.  Or..maybe it was.  Who knows?  Anyway, I'm fine not being medicated yet, but I know it will come.

But hey, my A1C rocked the house.  And he was pretty pleased with the lab work as a whole.

(In other news, I've sent all my pee to Faustman.  Waiting to hear from them.  Also, I want to get into the ViaCyte study in San Diego.  Like, with my WHOLE SOUL I want to get in.  I've called them twice, have yet to receive a phone call back.  Prayers, good vibes, positive thoughts that I get in would be appreciated. )