Six Months

Today is officially the six month anniversary of diagnosis.

It really has just become a part of my life, something I just deal with, and for the most part, I'm OK, since the control is still pretty easy.

But today, the permanence of this disease is sinking in. I've been doing this for six months, and will be doing it for many, many more. All the months, actually. There's no "six months down, six to go!" rallying cry or such. It's a little depressing.

But there's nothing to be done about it, and wallowing is not pretty or healthy. So I just carry on, buying insulin, counting carbs, and hoping that medical breakthroughs continue to happen.

Statin, statin, who wants a statin? Do I?

So, I switched PCP's recently. The new dude ran a lipid profile, since the one I had done at diagnosis was hideously bad, but nobody takes that as accurate, since high sugars also bring up your cholesterol. (Seriously, is there anything high sugars do not screw up?)

Anyway, the LDL was high, and he sent me a card with the results along with a prescription for simvastatin, the generic for Zocor. The rest of the numbers were good, btw. Triglycerides, HDL, all that. And it is light years better than what it was in January at diagnosis.

I'm a little torn about this. On the one hand, I know high cholesterol is bad, especially for diabetics. Bad, bad, bad. On the other hand, I've been reading about statins, and they seem to be pretty well tolerated in for short-term use, but long term, the side effects and risks really start to outweigh the benefits.

The thing that really concerns me, however, is that they have recently learned that they seem to lower your blood pressure as well, which has a lot of people saying "Great! 2 risk factors lowered in one drug!" For me, though, it is not uncommon for nurses to take my blood pressure multiple times, saying "hmmm....that's a little low...let me recheck." And I am constantly hearing "Is your blood pressure usually this low? Is this normal for you?" My last BP 2 days ago was 80/50. So yeah, I run low.

Plus, I'm not sure if I can take a statin while on this study, and there's no way I'm jeopardizing my status in the study for this pill. I asked the study nurse, she should be calling me on Monday to tell me whether or not it's OK.

So that leaves me staring at this prescription, wondering whether or not to fill it. What do you think?

Bright Light! Bright Light!

My eyes are dilated. The sun and I should be friends again in oh, 4-6 hours.

I am happy to report no diabetic retinopathy. I didn't think there would be, but if there's one thing I've learned about this disease, it's that YOU NEVER KNOW.

The end.

Ahem

I went up to Utah for another blood draw (I swear, so ridiculous that I have to go up there) and they ran another a1c. The result was.......(may I have a drum roll, please)?......................................

............................5.3!!!!!

Yeah, I'm pretty excited about that. Woot!Woot!

My Insurance is Changing

Just when I had this whole HMO thing figured out.....

I swear this is the fourth insurance plan we've had, and we've only lived here 2 years. Switching everything out every 6 months is getting a little tiring.

Everything will be more expensive (surprised?) but at least I won't need referrals anymore. Somehow, though, I'd rather get a referral than drop $50 every time I go to the endo when I used to have a $25 copay at specialists. Not to mention the increased cost at the pharmacy....

If only insulin didn't expire after a month. I feel guilty every time I throw out that bottle that's still 3/4 full. How ineffective is it after 30 days, anyway?

My Wrist Feels Naked

My bracelet just broke. The one that says "Diabetes" on it. The one I wear 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It was cute, too. This is what it looked like. (Except my plaque was the long, horizontal one). Now I guess I should get a different one. Maybe I should get a stronger one? Or possibly take it off when I shower?

Unless it's some sort of cosmic sign.....

Holy Crap on a Stick

Today I was writing down my Lantus dose as I was bolusing my breakfast. Guess what? Thinking about 10 units of Lantus (yay for lower!) while dosing 2 units of Novolog is not a good idea. Mixed them up in my head, drew out 10 units, and began dosing. I figured it out and stopped at about 8 units. Crappity crappity crap crap crap. 8 units of Novolog when I need 2 is not a good idea.

I F-aaah-REAKED out. I had visions of my kids finding a dead mother in the house and not knowing what to do. I grabbed the Dr. Pepper and the Starburst and I forced my husband to come home so he could force sugar into me and call 911 if necessary. I called the Dr., who told me I would be fine, just eat a lot of carbs. Of course I knew that, but...isn't there something else? Turns out, nope.

I mean, I have to be 90 points high before I issue a correction dose. So in my head, 6 extra units could really take me out.

Obviously I am still alive and OK. I did not go to the hospital. But I haven't been this scared in a while. I didn't know how to tell my kids - "Watch Mommy in case she passes out and then call 911, but everything should be fine, but just in case, you know....."

I remember in the hospital them telling me to NOT MIX THESE UP. And now I have. I survived, but hopefully, never again. I can only imagine if my Lantus was 25 or something.{shudder}

A Test

Yesterday I ate approximately 33 grams of carbohydrate at lunch time. I did not take a bolus, mostly because I forgot my needle. (!!) But I figured, hey, now's as good a time as any to see how my pancreas will deal with this.

Blood sugar at dinner: 88. My pancreas (and the Lantus) totally kicked butt.

I am pleased.

I am scared to try it again, though. I don't want to work my pancreas too hard, in case it fails faster and ends the honeymoon. I don't even know if that makes sense, really.

I mean, HOW do you decide to go off insulin? It seems inordinately risky, really. But I will ask the study doc when I'm up there.

Still, for now, I am pleased.

Where is the Time?

Between seeing the endo every 3 months, the dentist every 6 months, my ob and pcp and eye doctor once a year, not to mention the extra study visits, plus diabetes education, it seems like there is no time to do anything else but see medical professionals!

That doesn't even take into account the frequent pharmacy trips. (I don't do mail order. Not with this heat. If I'm not home, the insulin sitting on my porch worries me.)

Not that I'm complaining. Each one of these people has helped me tremendously. I just wish I could see them less frequently.

People, I need a hair cut. I don't seem to have time to get one. I blame summer vacation. And diabetes.

Lows, Lows, and More Lows

In case you couldn't tell by the title, I have been bombarded with blood sugar lows for the past few days. I mean, crazy stuff. Last night I had dinner, (120 pre-meal, which is higher than I've seen in a while, but I blame the tasting of the food beforehand) and did the dishes afterward, and BAM! One hour later, I'm at 49. Ouch. I didn't issue a correction dose or anything.

You know, it's not like the dishes are strenuous exercise or an unusual occurrence.

The day before that, it was like I could not get out of the 60's, and so I lowered my Lantus dose a couple of units. Still, yesterday was bad.

Today I am continuing the lower Lantus and also adjusting the Novolog carb ratio, so I take less.

All of this, while annoying, is actually very encouraging, because it might just mean the study drug is helping.....the administrator did say some people lowered their doses a couple of months post infusion, which would be....now. (Some people lowered or went off right after infusion too.)

Here's to a healthy pancreas! (Or at least a healthier one...)

In other news, really like my new PCP. Bonus.