Fun Facts, Gifs, and Collections

So..I've been dealing with Medtronic lately.

Yeah.

Fun fact #1: Medtronic gives a $500 credit if you send back your old pump within 60 days (90 days? 30 days? Some vague amount of days). It's a sneaky way of making sure you only have their equipment to deal with.


Fun fact #2: I did not send back my old pump. In fact, after a month of wearing the brick that is 670g, I put my Tandem T:slim back on. I couldn't do the Medtronic anymore. Too big. Too bulky. Too clicky.

Me every time I had to click another damn button.

Fun Fact #3: They charged my credit card $523 for my sensors, and as it turned out, it was covered by my insurance, and so I should have been charged bupkiss. (Does anyone say bupkiss anymore?) So - I owe them $500, they owe me $523.  I emailed my rep about this, and got crickets.

What most money conversations look like

Fun Fact #4: They started calling me to collect that $500. I would pick up the phone, and then get put on hold, and that just didn't fly with me. Well today they finally picked up after they called me (seriously, like, what?) and what followed was probably the greatest conversation I've ever had with a medical device company.

"Is this Heidi?"

Yes it is.

"Ok, let me pull up your account, oh it looks like....did you ever send back your old pump?"

No I did not.

"Oh, well that's what this is - you need to send that back honey, and that's why this went into billing."

"Yeah, I'm not going to do that. I am wearing it. I like it better.

(This blew her ever loving mind.)

Fun Fact #5 :I wish I were Anna Kendrick

"Wait, what? You like the old pump BETTER?"

Yes.

"Well, then what are you going to DO? This is considered a bill then. Do you want to set up a payment plan for this?"

No, I'm not paying it. You guys owe me money for the last shipment you sent out. If you refund me the $523, I'll pay the $500.

(In my head, I answered the 'what are you going to DO' question with "Sell the whole system on ebay" but I did not say that). (Nor will I do that.)

(Frantic typing)

"Are you talking about the shipment sent on 12/29?"

Yep, that's the one.

"We haven't received your insurance payment yet, you need to look again, and at where it says 'patient responsibility.' What does it say in that line? Does it say $523?"

It says $0.

"ohh.....When did you get that letter explaining that bill?"

It's online. I don't get letters - processed 1/4.

"Oh, well then yeah, you should be refunded then..once we get that insurance payment, we can process your payment and apply it to this pump. Let me see if you're on auto-ship, (no way in hell I'm on auto-ship) looks like you're not. Ok, that should do it."

Thank you.

So KUDOS to them for being able to apply the payment for one order to the bill for another order. So many companies would have to do the dance of refunding, then billing again, different systems, yada yada yada.  But ANTI-KUDOS to them for calling and putting me on hold, also for overcharging me by $523 in the first place, especially since I was quoted $300/something.

 Also, for all the clicking. You cannot turn off the clicking. And the stupid double A battery. And the stupid software that only works with IE.

But it was fun, just to be able to tell her 'Nope, not paying it.' "yep, you owe me money' "nope, not sending it back'.  There was no emotion attached, just me being in charge of the whole collections call.

Also, as to when I'm going to actually pull out the stuff they sent me and go into Auto Mode?  I have no answer to that question. Maybe never. Maybe tomorrow. I thought I'd give it the old college try, just like I did with Manual Mode, see what I think, but now I'm thinking, nope.

I would have to go to training with the trainer I dislike, (I answered her text about when I'm coming in with a solid "I'll let you know") and then deal with Medtronic for the rest of my life....ughhhh. The thought fills me with ANTI-JOY. Otherwise known as IRRATIONAL ANXIETY.

For now, I'm back on the old pump. Until it decides to die. And then??? Truthfully, I'll probably do whatever I can to stay with Tandem. Which will probably cost me money. Which is a bummer. And I might switch because of it, but not today.

NOT TODAY.