Sometimes Chanting is the Only Option

So last night the Dex buzzed 4 times at me.

(4 times is bad.  It's the hard alarm set at 55, telling me I'm pretty low).

I stared at it.  It said my blood glucose was 50 and dropping. Not dropping super fast, mind you, but on the way down.

So guess what I did?

Ate candy?  Drank juice?  Tested to verify?

Nope.  I did NOTHING.  I hit the button, and fell back asleep.

That....was not the wisest decision I've ever made.  I don't even know why I did it.  I can only blame middle of the night fatigue plus "low blood sugar brain".

I know you're all dying to know whether I died or not.

SPOILER ALERT:  I survived.

I just woke up later, feeling much much worse.  The dizziness, the sweat, the absolute and total NEED for glucose fueling my every move.  I grab my Dexcom, only to see the word LOW stare back at me.  I was lucid, however, for which I am grateful.

Dug around, found the candy, and popped 3 Starbursts into my mouth.  I did not eat the wrappers. Yes, I have eaten the wrappers in the past.  Sometimes unwrapping is too much coordination for a low blood sugar shaky hand to handle.  (Which is probably why I should buy glucose tabs).  (blech.)

Meter and Dexcom both showed 48.  Never have I been so happy to see a 48 on the Dex, because it meant the LOW word was gone, and I was now above 40.

And as I lay there - the chanting started.

"I've treated already.  I'll feel better soon.  I've treated already - I'll feel better soon.  I'VE TREATED ALREADY- I'LL FEEL BETTER SOON!"

Even though I feel like I'm going to explode, I probably won't.  

I chant this to myself to avoid eating the entire package of Starburst, plus drink all the milk and juice in the house, plus make myself a sandwich and have a bowl of cereal.

There are times when I have lows where the chanting doesn't work - the fear is stronger. and I overtreat, knowing I will have insulin later, and not caring.  All I want is to feel normal again, stat.   There will be more of them, I'm sure.  But sometimes this chanting works.  Last night it did.

And then the chanting stopped, because I actually started to feel better.  It is always a glorious feeling, when the low blood sugar tiger recedes into the background.  When you feel like yourself again, when you take a breath of air after being under too long, if I may mix metaphors terribly.

Dex buzzed 3 times.  3 times means below 70, which means I am coming up, and sure enough, it says 56 and rising.  This is nice, because often times Dex will take a while to register a rise from a bad low, it has some serious lag time there.  But with that assurance, I fell asleep again.

Woke up to a lovely 109.  Didn't even have a hanglowver.

But I have learned not to ignore the Dex again.  Which, you know, is a lesson I didn't need.  I already know this.  I just need to tell my middle of the night self about it.