So, I've had some cool emails lately.

"Dear Heidi,

Our records show that as of September 2013 your pancreas was still making some insulin. We measured amounts of c-peptide in your blood and the concentration was 12.57 pmol/L."

WHAT.

Also,

Back story - In September 2013, I went to Faustman lab and donated blood for the study. I guess I didn't blog about the trip.  Sorry about that.  They seemed more excited to get my husband's blood at the time (they wanted a non relative with no auto immune diseases for the control group.)  But hey, they were great and it was a fun little trip.

And THEN this weekend I got an email saying "We would like to obtain your HbA1C's for the past five years to see if you might be good fit for the first group of Phase II."

Which led to me sending them my permission to do so, and a request for my c-peptide results. Which led to me being a minion.

As you can see, they were acceptable.  Hopefully I still have some.  It has been 9 months, after all, and though the a1c's have been ok, they could be better.

They use an ultrasensitive assay of C-peptide to assess residual beta cell function, with a detection limit of 1.5 pmol/L.  She attached a paper explaining it.  Here it is if you want to read it.

And thus, we wait.

But this is good.  This is very good. Onward and upward and all that.  Yes, this is the lab you all donated to for my 4 year diaversary.  Thanks again!!!  See what's happening because you dropped $3?  SEE??

(link to the phase 2 trial.)

Adventures in Dentistry

OK, so the dental office my insurance covers?

Terrible.

My copay there?

Awesome.  As in, $5.  I will put up with a lot of terrible to get a teeth cleaning for $5.

Hello, I'm Mr. Lincoln.  I will be your dentist today.

And believe me, I have.  I've had a 10:00 appointment, only to finally get in the chair around 12:30, only to be told we needed to reschedule because my hygienist had gone to lunch.  Pitched a fit, different hygienist squeezed me in, and I insisted I only be put with her from that point on (didn't happen).

I've been told my teeth are "weird."  I've been called in between appointments to see if I wanted that crown we talked about.  Apparently my large filling should be a crown, and it should be a crown yesterday. I've had the hygienist complain that I have wisdom teeth, because, whine,  "they're so hard to floooossss".

(My husband can't stand the place and hasn't been back.  My kids go elsewhere because they should grow up liking the dentist as much as possible.)

But I can have a bad day once every six months, because....CHEAP. I can put up with waiting if it saves me hundreds of dollars.

Last time I went in, it was beyond my ability to "suck it up for the savings."

I had the cleaning, (different hygienist). I had the x-rays.  Then the doctor walked in.  It was a different dentist than I had seen before, but this is one of the practices that just puts you with whomever, continuity of care be damned. (The turnover is also high.  I don't think people like working there any more than patients like going there).  He started spouting off tooth numbers that were bad. I was told I had multiple cavities.  That crown was urgently needed, and the fact that I didn't have it done yet is bordering on negligent.  One of the bad cavities was in my wisdom tooth, and there was really no reason to fill that, because "you don't want to put any money in your wisdom teeth, do you?' and was told I needed those out stat.  He started recommending oral surgeons. By the time he was done, my mouth was in dire straits, and this was going to take a village to fix.

Hint: Do not Google image "bad teeth."  

Embarrassingly, my eyes welled up a little.  Still, I found my voice. "Six months ago, everything was fine. You do not go from fine to major problems in six months."

He looked at me, seemed surprised that I was upset at all, and said "Look, it's your choice as to what to do here.  You can choose to do nothing, but these are the problems I have diagnosed.  These are DIAGNOSABLE problems (he was just the dental Dr. House, I guess).  It's just ridiculous that you have wisdom teeth, there's no reason at all to have them, etc. etc."

He walked out.  While I was still in the chair trying to grasp this, the hygienist handed me a coupon for $50 off your next dental service, and said "Did you want to schedule that surgery now, Heidi?"

Surgery. With Type 1. No. No, I did not.

I walked out to the checkout station, and she printed off no less than 4 "stages" of work I needed done, and which thing I should do first, wisdom teeth, etc. and then she took one look at me, with my fighting back of emotions, and said "Let's just schedule your next cleaning. You can take some time to think about what you want to do."

OK.  Let's do that.  But I can guarantee you I'm not going to keep that appointment.  I paid my $5 and got out of there. I might have cried a little in my car.  Not telling.

That was in September.  I did nothing about my teeth, except worry and ask dental friends what they thought of wisdom teeth. In March a reminder email showed up.  I clicked that I would not be there, they called, and I told them I was never coming back.  Still, I wondered.  Maybe I was screwing myself over.  I do have diabetes.  I do eat candy in the middle of the night and don't brush afterwards.  My sugars do go high, and that's got to be affecting things.  I do drink diet soda by the gallon.  Maybe I desperately needed that crown.  Maybe I had cavities that were getting worse by the minute.  Maybe I now had a new thing to get all "anxiety girl" over.

So I finally called my kid's dentist and scheduled an appointment for me.  I walked in, explained how another dentist had found issues, but I needed someone I could trust, and hoped for the best.  I was worried that this was going to be pricey, and I had just made everything worse by waiting.

No cavities.  Let me repeat that.  NO CAVITIES. That tooth that needed a crown?  Yes, eventually it will need it, but they're not even going to put in on a watch list yet, because it's very stable.  It'll likely be years before it's necessary. My wisdom teeth?  Look great, no there's not a big cavity in one, why would I think that? - and there's plenty of room.  They're just like any other tooth, and I can keep them as long as I want.

Both the dentist and hygienist were like "Your teeth look great.  Just keep doing what you're doing."

And I said "I drink a lot of diet soda.  That must be it."

Then they laughed, out loud, for a long time.  Oh yeah, diet soda is the way to go when it comes to teeth.  Of course. (They don't really believe that, just in case you were wondering).

Yum.

Did I want to schedule another appointment?

Yes.  Yes I do.  Some things are worth more than $5.

Mantras and More

Day 4.

The prompt is:

Today we are getting back to the positive with our topic Mantras and More. Yesterday we opened up about how diabetes can bring us down. Today let’s share what gets you through a hard day? Or, more specifically, a hard diabetes day? Something positive you tell yourself, or mantras, or what you fall back on to get you through. Maybe we've done that and we can help others do it too?


OK, then.  Here you go.



Just keep swimming.  

Also, this.



You're going to be OK.

Also, this.

Can't tell you often that tree has seen me through.

Just keep swimming.

Having a bad diabetes day?

(Part of me wants to get this and put it up in the bathroom.  I won't, though.)

More links here.

Diabetes Blog Week - Better Late than Never

OK, so I should have been blogging all week about various topics on diabetes.. I haven't been doing that.

But here's the prompt for today - 

May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope? 

This is a rough prompt,  and I don't think I will go fully down that rabbit hole.  There are a whole LOT of things that make living with diabetes an emotional issue for me, not the least of which is diabetes itself, when high blood sugars make you burst into tears at the grocery store because well....THE GROCERY STORE, and when low blood sugars make you eat everything in sight to keep the terror at bay.

Keeping the terror at bay is hard.  

But here's a conversation I had tonight that sums up PART of what makes it an emotional topic.

Husband: I brought home pizza.  I also got you a salad because I know you're not a big fan of pizza.

Me:  I'm a fan of pizza.  It's diabetes that doesn't like it.  And it's a very demanding roommate.

And there you have it.  I have an uninvited, demanding, expensive roommate.  One that will never leave. One that demands I eat salad over pizza, even when I don't want to.  And should I choose that pizza, there WILL be consequences.  This roommate keeps me up at night.  Constantly.  It calls me all day long. beeping and buzzing and not letting me just be BY MYSELF FOR ONE MINUTE?   It's basically a demanding toddler that will never go away, and it's sucking up my vacation funds in the form of test strips that get everywhere. Seriously.  This roommate is MESSY.  It never cleans up, it never contributes to the bills, and I can't kick it to the curb.  

And really, I'm an introvert.  College is over.  I don't need any roommates.  The only ones I want in my home are my family members.  

The permanence makes it rough.  How do I make peace with something that won't end?  

I have no idea.  If you do, let me know.

More d-blog links here.  Thank you.

EYES

Went to the eye doctor a few days ago.

Got reprimanded that it had been "almost 2 years!!!!" since I'd been there.

I think mostly the tech was mad at me because as soon as they called me back, and I walked into the first room of 3, and it was 9:45 in the morning, and I said  - out loud - "It smells like nachos in here."

I probably shouldn't have said that.

Because after I looked around for said nachos, wondering if there was a break room nearby or something, it's highly likely it was her breath.

Whoops.  But seriously, who's eating Mexican food that early?  And you know looking at eyes is close work, right?  You can't pop an Altoid?

So then I got the reprimand of not being there since AUGUST 2012!! And it's now APRIL 2014!!  Clearly, I could have suffered horrible eye diseases and I am so lucky I wasn't struck blind between now and then.

Which, you know, is probably true.

Then lots of tests were run and drops were adminstered, I sat there and listened while the dilation was starting.

She was charting, and I hear her talking to herself as she writes, and she says "OK, DM 2....blah blah this..."

And I interrupted her.

"DM 1."

She was flustered and confused as she looked up.

"What?"

"You said DM 2.  That stands for Diabetes Mellitus 2.  I am a Type 1.  You need to write DM 1."

"Oh, Ok.  I just am SO USED to writing DM 2."

"I'm sure that's true, as it is more common, but you should ask before you chart something like that."

(And honestly, I've been going there for years, it should already be on the chart if you looked back, nacho lady). (But maybe somebody charted it wrong already and she did look.) (I don't know.)

And frankly, does T1 v T2  matter that much at the eye doctor?  Eye problems can plague all diabetics, so type probably doesn't play into their treatment at this stage.

This stage being:  MY EYES LOOK AWESOME.

So there.  See you in a year.  You know, if I remember.  Which I probably will.  I'm pretty good about that. Usually.

Also, I really should not drive after dilation.  They should really have a recovery room where you sit there and listen to music for a couple of hours before they just let you out on the road like that.

Oh, and I went out for tacos afterwards.  For some reason Mexican food sounded really good.  And it was.

I am his FAVORITE patient. Nobody can tell me otherwise.

Had a doctor's visit.

He still adores me.

He looked at my numbers and said I must eat really healthy.  Which is odd, because the week before my numbers were all over the chart (like 350 for no reason or 45 with double arrows down.  FUN.)

Told him I liked doughnuts. Just these specific ones from the grocery store. Snarf.

He wants me to experiment with a Type 2 drug that makes you pee out your sugar if you go too high.  He says it works for Type 1s too, but insurance won't pay for it.  So I have samples, and will probably take them the week before my period when I go high.

He thinks Type 1s get the shaft when it comes to new meds because there just isn't the same market as for Type 2s.

We agreed on that.

A1c was 6.8. I can live with that.

We fought the battle over statins.

He did acknowledge that at my age taking it sporadically was probably OK, and we can argue some more after I'm 40.

LDL was high, but not terrible. Take that.

I'll be 40 in a year and a half. Gah. Take THAT.

WBC was still low.  Not sure what's going on there, or if that's even a concern.  It may just be how I roll.

And now, since I just had a doctor's visit, and nothing will show up on labs for a while, I have been stuffing Swedish ginger cookies down my gullet like nobody's business.  They are tiny and delicious and I CAN'T. STOP. EATING. THEM.

The buzzing of the CGM can't stop me.  They're just that addicting.

Anyone else feel like once your labs are over, you can party a little?  No? Just me?  Ok, then.

My Life in Song. Old, strange songs. That's How I Roll.

I like to think I have control over many aspects of my life, especially pertaining to my children.

I am wrong.

I like to think I can control my diabetes.

I am wrong.

I get asked to do crazy things by zombies who don't think they're being unreasonable.  Been to the doctor lately?  Talked to a CDE?  And I love my doctor.  Sometimes they can't see it.  It's not unreasonable -  "I mean, no one's going to eat your eyes". I often feel like Tom in this video.  "I sure appreciate your working with me..." but no compromise is actually going to be offered, nor is it ever intended.  Diabetes doesn't compromise. (Sometimes people don't either.  Even if they think they are.)




BUT.

"It's going to be the future soon.  I won't always be this way. When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away".



"And when my heart is breaking, I can close my eyes.  It's already here."

(Note - No relationship angst here.  I'm happily married to a code monkey and do not pine for high school crushes.)

And don't worry, I don't plan on building a robot army.

Probably.