I Need....Something. Not Sure What, Though.

I desperately need to gain weight. It's not healthy, my body-type. While I have always been an the scrawny side, this is not good. I can't understand it, really. My sugars have been fairly stable, I eat plenty, why am I getting so skinny? Is it because I've had a cold? I go into the endo next month, I can't wait. I have questions. Like mainly, how do I get fatter without screwing up my sugars royally? If he says "eat more" I will lose it. That's what everyone says, and IT'S NOT WORKING!

Today I went to the gym, in an effort to up my exercise for this year, and also to hopefully put on more muscle. I also upped my carb count (and dosage) at breakfast, since it's possible that my carb restrictions are contributing to my weight loss. Oh yeah, Curves was CLOSED at 11:45 on a Tuesday, and I checked my sugars before I went in (as I do before exercise) and I was at 200!!! (90 minutes post meal, so some insulin was still working I guess, but ugh.) Um, what was that about "my sugars have been stable?"

I lost it. I mean, really, truly, lost it. I will probably drop the Curves membership, because seriously, the hours are crazy enough (they've always been closed from 1-3, which I have never understood), and if they are shortening their hours even more, I simply can't do it. It's not like they have child care. If they're not open during afternoon kindergarten, forget it.

So I came home, checked my sugars again (172) and turned on my Wii fit to get my workout. I dropped the sugars to 103, and got my 30 minutes in, all the while boxing my arms off. I was mad, and the boxing felt good. I'm ALWAYS mad at a high sugar reading. I mean, if I'm counting my carbs and not eating doughnuts, and my sugars are still crappy, then what the hell is the POINT???

And HOW the hell am I supposed to gain weight? Upping the carbs just screws up my sugars, eating more calories isn't doing it, exercise isn't doing it, I need....something. Help. I need help.